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Virtual Christmas

Virtual Christmas, virtual tree
No need to be there…physically
Spirit of giving…virtually
We'll have a real eChristmas this year
Virtual shopping…Santa dot com
No more schlepping hither and yon
Where would we be without Amazon

God rest you merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay
With Next Day Air your presents should arrive by Christmas day
If not the means of tracing them is just a click away
'Cause it's a virtual Christmas this year

He's making that list, he's checkin' it twice
He knows if your screen name's naughty or nice
Delete all those bookmarks…that's my advice
Keep your mind on Christmas this year
We're surfin' this Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature is stirring…except for the mouse
Have a look at our phone bill if you have any doubts

Jingle bells, AOL's sent another disk
It's been a virtual Christmas this year

Won't need to travel. That suits me fine
We'll get the whole family together online
Happily tapping out Old Lang Syne
ICQ for Christmas this year
Of course there's a downside…when put to the test
The video streams were jerky, at best
So sad to see services network congest

It streamed upon a modem clear
No ethernet could we afford
The midnight, candlelight services
Took six hours to download

Oh, Chirstmas tree
E, Christmas tree
E you were never meant to be


Music traditional
Lyrics © 2001 Doug Hamilton

© 1999 Douglas Hamilton ( Permission is hereby granted for non-commercial posting or performance of this work provided it is not altered and that this notice appears intact. Publishing, recording, and all other commercial use requires prior permission. By distributing this work, you are indicating your acceptance of the complete, current terms of this license located at

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© 2001-2003 D. Hamilton