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From the OXymoron humour archive -- Computing section

101 Things you do NOT want to hear your SysAdmin say.

If OSs were airlines.

PETS: People for the Ethical Treatment of Software.

Joel Polowin's filky pages

Joel's warning: some of this material is unsuitable for children. Some of it is unsuitable for adults. Some of it is just plain unsuitable.



15 Bugs
Joel Polowin

In every software project
There are goals to keep in mind
Adding documented features
Taking out... the other kind

But there's 15 bugs, a random crash, and a typo in the way
And errors in the linker take their toll
I build the tools to fix the tools to fix the mess I'm in
And step by step I'm movin' round the goal
There's 15 bugs I know about, and prob'ly more I don't
I fix one with a simple little hack
But that just seems to spawn another two or three new bugs
The most efficient thing to do is put the first one back

There's something in the linker that isn't working right
It optimizes ev'ry function call
But ev'ry time my code completes a user subroutine
It jumps back to some other place that subroutine is called

The typo really ought to be a simple thing to fix
A couple keystrokes shouldn't cause much pain
But ev'ry time I try to check the stupid source file in
The version diff'rence system puts the typo back again

I've unlinked half the modules, I've IFDEFfed out the bugs
There's not much left, but what there is is clean
I've added seven GOTOs to the most important part:
The Easter egg that puts my name in lights up on the screen

It's a random walk...
And step by step I'm movin' round the goal.

link to sheet music

Copyright (C) 1998 by Joel Polowin. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and that this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Joel Polowin / 18 Norice St. / Nepean, Ont. / CANADA / K2G 2X5

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