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Acronyms, Schmacronyms


Acronyms, schmacronyms -- made by monkeys on a whim
People can't remember them or say for what they stand
Unless you're some computer geek, mouthing jargon in your sleep
Incomprehensible as Greek to someone from Lapland

You gotchur nubus, your EISA bus, your ISA bus too
Do you really need a PCI when MCA will do
When they named the slots on laptops they got carried away

Acronyms, schmacronyms -- if their meanings you discern
The un-initiates you spurn, you speak in acronyms
You revel in obscurity, owe no one an apology
You'll never suffer from ennui -- you've got your acronyms

ASCII a silly question, get a silly ANSI
Your VDT is RGB, your GA's really fancy
From MDA to VGA we've come a long way

Acronyms, schmacronyms, lingua franca of the nerds
They're far superior to words, I feel IMHO
You read an FAQ or ten
First thing you know, you're spoutin' them
You'll never really be the same-you think in acronyms

What does ISDN stand for? I Still Don't No
With DSL it's hard to tell -- I'm learnin'as I go
If your PPP is SLIP'in then it's TCP-IP
And it's all to get your URL to HTTP

Acronyms, schmacronyms -- keeps you newbys in the dark
Those in the know will not impart to those who have not earned it
But maybe someday you'll break through. From WYSIWYG to CPU
It's makin' sense (or startin' to). You've buckled down and learned it

Well I declare I'm near despair it's just so darn confusing
New TLA's 'most every day, you just can't win for losing
It really strains the non-technical brain
even when you explain it well
You can RTFM again and again and still be SOL

Acronyms have a higher use, 'cause when you're feeling at a loss
Impress you friends, impress your boss -- make up an acronym
They'll all pretend to understand. They will not ask you to expand
And so you'll have the upper hand -- an acronymophone

by Doug Hamilton

© 1998 Douglas Hamilton ( Permission is hereby granted for non-commercial posting or performance of this work provided it is not altered and that this notice appears intact. Publishing, recording, and all other commercial use requires prior permission. By distributing this work, you are indicating your acceptance of the complete, current terms of this license located at

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© 2001-2003 D. Hamilton