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Links to Computer Filk

Lots 'o links from Maureen O'Brien of Darn Near All the Filk on the Web fame...

MaJoC: Getting your Filk

Martin J. Carter is a prolific author of computer filk and has given the topic much thought. Here's what he has to say about the origin of filk.



[return to Alt Lyrics]

The Day the Routers Died
Tune: American Pie

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember how
That UUNet used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make those packets dance,
And maybe we'd be happy for a while.
But February made them shiver,
With every packet I'd deliver,
Bad news on the ntop...
They couldn't make one more hop.
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his BOFHen pride
But something snapped deep inside,
The day the routers died.

Bye bye my little PFY,
Pushed my packets to the portals but the portals had died
Them PFYs were dropping routers like flies,
Singing "This'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die."

Did you read the advisory,
And do you have faith in security,
If the manpage tells you so?
Now do you believe in Garfinkel?
Can firewalls save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to prevent a slow 'n&39;low?
Well I know you're in love with vim,
'Cause I saw you hacking in the gym
You just kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those froody clues
I was a lonely wannabe 31337 fuck
With an old notebook and a newsfeed suck
But I knew that I was out of luck
The day the routers died.
I started singing...

Bye bye...

Now for ten years we've been on our own
And still hold jobs where we bitch and moan
But that's not how it used to be
When the PFY cringed at a vented spleen
and the BOFHen laughed at the sorry scene
In a voice that scared both you and me
Oh, and while the BOFHs copped scorning frowns
The PFY took the routers down
The network was injured,
No ACKs were returned.
And while Schneier wrote a book of locks,
The masses quivered in their socks
And they put Yahoo in a box
The day the routers died.
We were singing...

Bye bye...

Smurfer, spoofer, in a hidden shelter
The bits flew out and blew the port filter
Eight hundred megs per second and climbing fast
Sites lie smoking, cratered glass.
The admins tried for a backup route
With the PFY on the console, out of gas
Now the backroom air was foul perfume
While Ciscos hummed a whining tune
They all booted up to dance
Oh, but they never got the chance
'Cause the packets tried to take the field,
The flooding gits refused to yield,
Do you recall what was revealed,
The day the routers died?
We started singing...

Bye bye...

And there we were all in one place
Our corporation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on Jack be nimble Jack be quick
Jack crashed, he's tired and sick
'Cause SATAN ain't the BOFH's only friend
And as I watched them in the cage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell
Would break this BOFH's spell
And as the rates climbed high into the night
To light the blinkenlights
I saw the BOFH laughing with delight
The day the routers died.
He was singing...

Bye bye...

I met a grrl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the colo door
Where I'd seen the routers years before
But the man there said the routers couldn't stay.
And in the streets the pundits screamed
The PFYs cried and the |<1|>|>135 dreamed
But not a bit or token
The routers all were broken
And the three groups I admire most
CERT, CIAC, and the folks at COAST,
They're working late on the hosts
The day the routers died
And they were singing...

words © Mark C. Langston
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